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What are some funny and smart quotes?

Last Updated: 16.06.2025 07:29

What are some funny and smart quotes?

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

How come Taiwan is LGBT friendly, yet Japan and South Korea are not?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Do you think President-Elect Donald Trump won the presidency fair and square, or do you think the GOP resorted to blatant unlawful practices to tilt the election?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

Is something wrong with my discharge? So, when I masturbate, white discharge comes from my vagina, but it's not stretchy, it's pasty. It doesn't smell and I'm not itchy, so I'm sure it's not a yeast infection. Why is it pasty though?

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”